2006年七月，以黎戰火點燃，我們知道上帝正在外面敲著我們在北美愛達荷州家的門。

    戰爭爆發的地點，正是我們從前服務的地方。我們知道大衛該儘快回到那裡，好協助難民在教會安頓並設法護送他們到安全的地方，更要繼續在那裡傳揚上帝救贖的福音。

    但就在那之前，我才在家附近的大學註冊成為碩士班學生、學習英語教學；上帝的呼召這樣清楚卻緊急，因此我們在禱告中決定，我仍然留在北美繼續我的學業，也繼續留在我們原來所負責的國際學生事工裡；大衛則在貝魯特機場開放後即刻動身；即使我們對於大衛回到黎巴嫩之後，將會是什麼情況等著他，一點把握都沒有。

    大衛回到黎巴嫩已經一年多了，好在這期間我們可以用網路電話和視訊常常聯絡。在今年開始第二年的碩士學程之前，我趁著暑假到黎巴嫩和大衛相聚。我們都清楚看到上帝正在我們所服務的地方作新事，也呼召我們成為祂在那地計畫的一部分。

    我們曉得「萬事都互相效力，叫愛神的人得益處，就是按祂旨意被召的人。」（羅馬書八章28節）。那麼在祂的計畫中，我們夫妻得分居二地的時候，祂的心意又是什麼？聖經中，使徒行傳十三章2∼3節教導我們以禁食尋求神，哥林多前書七章5節教導夫妻暫時分房以專心祈求。夫妻分開如同禁食，為要在靈裡單單感受因神而起的飢渴與滿足。

    這段分開的日子也促使我更加倚賴耶穌──我這一生最初的愛。大衛和我在這段日子裡因著許多事工而十分忙碌，但也因著另一半沒能在自己身邊讓我們互相依靠，使我們彼此更深刻地倚靠神。

    禁食的時候，我們得離開對食物的需要；夫妻在分開的時候，我們得遠離對彼此的需要。但我發現，我多出了許多時間思考神計畫在我身上的意義。

    今年暑假我與大衛相聚時，我發現我已經比以往更加獨立，這正是羅馬書十二章10節所說：「愛弟兄，要彼此親熱；恭敬人，要彼此推讓」；對我來說，最大的試探便是從對伴侶的依賴和自我中心的思緒裡脫離出來。

    在分開的日子裡，大衛和我也常常互相檢討：「夫妻不可彼此虧負，除非兩相情願，暫時分房，為要專心禱告方可；以後仍要同房，免得撒但趁著你們情不自禁，引誘你們。」（哥林多前書七章5節）

    只要是為著婚姻的緣故和事奉的需要，我可以在任何時刻放棄那未完成的學業。婚姻是為了成就另一半而放下自己，雖然我們在分開的日子中過得獨立，但獨立卻會成為夫妻關係的殺手。在我們神的原則監督下，在分開生活時，我們深深依靠神，祂也藉此更新對我們婚姻的恩賜與支持。

原文：

    Last summer, when the July (2006) War broke out in Lebanon between Hezbollah and Israel, we knew God was knocking on the door of our house in Moscow, Idaho. We had served in that exact region and immediately entered into a role of constant communication and support for the group of Lebanese taking refuge in the basement of the church and the stream of people moving through the church on their way to safety out of the region. Just as immediately, we knew David should return as soon as possible to help with relief and proclamation of the Good News of redemption.

    I had registered to begin a Masters program in teaching English as a second language. We prayed and decided I should stay and study and continue in our ministry with international students on the University of Idaho campus and in our home. David left for Lebanon as soon as the airport in Beirut was open. We didn’t know what the situation would be like or what God’s plan would be for him there.

    Now it is nearly one year later. David and I speak with each other through Skype and email and have seen each other whenever possible. I will soon enter my second year of the masters program in the States, having just arrived back from being with David in Lebanon most of the summer. It is clear God is doing something new there, and that we are called to be a part of it.

    We know that God uses everything for good for those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose (Rom 8:28). What is God’s purpose for our relationship in this time of separation? Scripture speaks of going without food while seeking God (Acts 13:2, 3), and speaks of husband and wife going without sexual relations for an agreed upon period of prayer (1 Corinthians 7:5). Being separated has been like fasting, experiencing again what it is to be spiritually hungry and spiritually satisfied. It has pushed me closer to Jesus, my first love. Both David and I are involved in intense activities. Because the other is not physically present, we have become more deeply dependent on God.     Of course there are temptations in being geographically separated. During a period of fasting we set aside the daily requirements of food preparation and consumption. In being separated, David and I set aside the daily requirements of maintaining our relationship. I simply have more time, which I can use for God’s purposes or for my own. This summer when I was reunited with David, I recognized that I had slipped into the mindset of doing things independently and in my own way, and it was an adjustment to ‘be devoted to one another in love and prefer one another in honor’ (Romans 12:10). For me, the biggest temptation is to become independent of my spouse and self centered.

    David and I constantly evaluate our long distance romance.

    “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you…” 1 Corinthians 7:5

    I am ready at any time to leave the academic program I am in if it seems right for our marriage or our ministry. Marriage is death to self for the sake of the other, and one of the dangers of being separated is independence. Under the tutelage of God’s discipline, the blessing of being separated for a season is dependence on God and renewed appreciation of the gifts and support each of us brings to our marriage.