2006年七月，以黎战火点燃，我们知道上帝正在外面敲著我们在北美爱达荷州家的门。

    战争爆发的地点，正是我们从前服务的地方。我们知道大卫该尽快回到那里，好协助难民在教会安顿并设法护送他们到安全的地方，更要继续在那里传扬上帝救赎的福音。

    但就在那之前，我才在家附近的大学注册成为硕士班学生、学习英语教学；上帝的呼召这样清楚却紧急，因此我们在祷告中决定，我仍然留在北美继续我的学业，也继续留在我们原来所负责的国际学生事工里；大卫则在贝鲁特机场开放后即刻动身；即使我们对于大卫回到黎巴嫩之后，将会是什么情况等著他，一点把握都没有。

    大卫回到黎巴嫩已经一年多了，好在这期间我们可以用网路电话和视讯常常联络。在今年开始第二年的硕士学程之前，我趁著暑假到黎巴嫩和大卫相聚。我们都清楚看到上帝正在我们所服务的地方作新事，也呼召我们成为他在那地计画的一部分。

    我们晓得「万事都互相效力，叫爱神的人得益处，就是按他旨意被召的人。」（罗马书八章28节）。那么在他的计画中，我们夫妻得分居二地的时候，他的心意又是什么？圣经中，使徒行传十三章2～3节教导我们以禁食寻求神，哥林多前书七章5节教导夫妻暂时分房以专心祈求。夫妻分开如同禁食，为要在灵里单单感受因神而起的饥渴与满足。

    这段分开的日子也促使我更加倚赖耶稣——我这一生最初的爱。大卫和我在这段日子里因著许多事工而十分忙碌，但也因著另一半没能在自己身边让我们互相依靠，使我们彼此更深刻地倚靠神。

    禁食的时候，我们得离开对食物的需要；夫妻在分开的时候，我们得远离对彼此的需要。但我发现，我多出了许多时间思考神计画在我身上的意义。

    今年暑假我与大卫相聚时，我发现我已经比以往更加独立，这正是罗马书十二章10节所说：「爱弟兄，要彼此亲热；恭敬人，要彼此推让」；对我来说，最大的试探便是从对伴侣的依赖和自我中心的思绪里脱离出来。

    在分开的日子里，大卫和我也常常互相检讨：「夫妻不可彼此亏负，除非两相情愿，暂时分房，为要专心祷告方可；以后仍要同房，免得撒但趁著你们情不自禁，引诱你们。」（哥林多前书七章5节）

    只要是为著婚姻的缘故和事奉的需要，我可以在任何时刻放弃那未完成的学业。婚姻是为了成就另一半而放下自己，虽然我们在分开的日子中过得独立，但独立却会成为夫妻关系的杀手。在我们神的原则监督下，在分开生活时，我们深深依靠神，他也藉此更新对我们婚姻的恩赐与支持。

原文：

    Last summer, when the July (2006) War broke out in Lebanon between Hezbollah and Israel, we knew God was knocking on the door of our house in Moscow, Idaho. We had served in that exact region and immediately entered into a role of constant communication and support for the group of Lebanese taking refuge in the basement of the church and the stream of people moving through the church on their way to safety out of the region. Just as immediately, we knew David should return as soon as possible to help with relief and proclamation of the Good News of redemption.

    I had registered to begin a Masters program in teaching English as a second language. We prayed and decided I should stay and study and continue in our ministry with international students on the University of Idaho campus and in our home. David left for Lebanon as soon as the airport in Beirut was open. We didn’t know what the situation would be like or what God’s plan would be for him there.

    Now it is nearly one year later. David and I speak with each other through Skype and email and have seen each other whenever possible. I will soon enter my second year of the masters program in the States, having just arrived back from being with David in Lebanon most of the summer. It is clear God is doing something new there, and that we are called to be a part of it.

    We know that God uses everything for good for those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose (Rom 8:28). What is God’s purpose for our relationship in this time of separation? Scripture speaks of going without food while seeking God (Acts 13:2, 3), and speaks of husband and wife going without sexual relations for an agreed upon period of prayer (1 Corinthians 7:5). Being separated has been like fasting, experiencing again what it is to be spiritually hungry and spiritually satisfied. It has pushed me closer to Jesus, my first love. Both David and I are involved in intense activities. Because the other is not physically present, we have become more deeply dependent on God.     Of course there are temptations in being geographically separated. During a period of fasting we set aside the daily requirements of food preparation and consumption. In being separated, David and I set aside the daily requirements of maintaining our relationship. I simply have more time, which I can use for God’s purposes or for my own. This summer when I was reunited with David, I recognized that I had slipped into the mindset of doing things independently and in my own way, and it was an adjustment to ‘be devoted to one another in love and prefer one another in honor’ (Romans 12:10). For me, the biggest temptation is to become independent of my spouse and self centered.

    David and I constantly evaluate our long distance romance.

    “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you…” 1 Corinthians 7:5

    I am ready at any time to leave the academic program I am in if it seems right for our marriage or our ministry. Marriage is death to self for the sake of the other, and one of the dangers of being separated is independence. Under the tutelage of God’s discipline, the blessing of being separated for a season is dependence on God and renewed appreciation of the gifts and support each of us brings to our marriage.